It barely has business being a movie at all, given that DC Comics’ undersea hero has long been a butt of pop-culture jokes rather than a big seller, best known for talking to fish and having little to offer the Justice League when their adventures take place on the surface world. James Wan’s Aquaman has no business being a good movie. Wait, does this all sound like a bizarrely complicated piece of high fantasy rather than a goofy comic-book film? I have great news for you, reader: It’s both. And the nation’s only plan to combat global warming is to try to invade the surface with an army on shark-back. Relationships with the crab people of the Brine kingdom and the spiky monsters of the underwater trenches are at all-time lows. The realm’s monarchical system of primogeniture has handed the throne to a warmongering maniac named Orm (played by Patrick Wilson). Supported by UK film distributors and others.Far be it from me to judge other nations, but there’s something rotten at the core of Atlantis, the underwater setting of the new DC Comics blockbuster Aquaman.

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